Kim Leatherdale: guest blogger.

As I brushed my hair this morning, I looked down to see a bright pair of eyes and a smile looking up at me. As usual my cat, Wolfie, was “asking” nicely to be brushed when I was done.  He absolutely adores being brushed- purring like a freight train the whole time.  I am happy to oblige, even when I don’t have much time.

Why?  Because of the wonderful way he “asks”.

This is a relationship lesson we can all learn- always approach your partner with a pleasant attitude.  It makes things go so much better.

Think about it.  How willing are you to listen to someone who approaches you with a grouchy attitude?  How likely are you to say ‘yes’ to a request made with a sour face?  How open are you to feedback when a person delivers it nastily?

The answer to all three is “very little to not at all.”

This is true in personal and business relationships.  If you are terrible to be around, no one wants to be around you (or do anything for you.) If you are approachable, pleasant, and just plain nice, people will often go out of their way to accommodate you.

Wolfie was brushed, and I felt good doing it.  That is a real win-win situation.

How about you folks- do you have any stories to share about how a pleasant attitude worked for you? I’d love to hear them.

Kim Leatherdale is a relationship counselor who helps everyday couples become happy couples.  Her blog, http://creatingrewardingrelationships.blogspot.com/, is filled with helpful hints, easy skills, and great things to think about.  She provides video counseling, phone coaching, and in office therapy to couples and individuals. Contact her via the email on her blog profile.

Imagine a world where people all have excellent problem solving skills, where they are patient and respectful of each other on a daily basis. A society where citizens live for the future and plan long term, thinking of where their children’s children will be, following through, seeing each goal to its conclusion with ease. Now add to that an indefinable quality of artistic imagination, dreaming for more than can be reasonably expected, reaching beyond the status quo.

Chess can teach our next generation all these skills and more!

I learned the game when I was young and to this day I see the world as a giant chess game where any barrier can be conquered and any victory can be achieved. No goal is impossible and when I have a target in sight there is no stopping me. The same glint I had in my eye when I faced an opponent at a chess tournament still exists today when I face a challenge, along with the insouciant grin that comes from the pure joy of the experience.

Intuitively most would agree that chess improves a student’s grades and ability to study. Numerous studies have been done over the years throughout the world that show this to be the case. IQ increases, reading test results improve as do math and science scores. However there are so many other skills children pick up naturally from learning and becoming good at chess.

Imagination is a must in chess. You cannot form strategies and tactical plans without being able to envision your goals. It is impossible to win a game without first imagining the victory. You are the one to make the pieces dance to the rhythm you choose. Without the player the pieces just sit dormant on a dusty board.

A child’s self confidence soars as the victories pile up, especially when that child can routinely trounce adults. Allow that child to teach other children or perhaps even the adults and he or she will master the game quickly. Nothing helps someone learn faster than teaching others and nothing does more for one’s pride than to see someone improve under one’s tutelage.

In order to achieve a victory one must consistently play well throughout the game. You can make forty excellent moves and one thoughtless blunder and lose the game instantly. As a result you quickly learn to be thorough in your analysis and patient with your moves. Imagine if we all applied this little lesson to our daily lives. Thoughtless comments, heat of the moment bursts of anger, crimes of passion might just become things of the past to be studied as a part of a history lesson.

If every parent initiated regular family chess nights and if every school taught chess as part of their daily lesson plan imagine where our country could be. Children naturally are drawn to chess. If you don’t believe me try an easy experiment. Go to an area populated with children, put out a chess set and see what happens. I promise you they will flock to the board and become immersed in a game. We all have the power to fuel our children’s existing passion for learning and help our next generation soar. Let’s make a difference!

(Laura Sherman and her husband Dan are professional chess coaches – visit their site at www.YourChessCoach.com)

Laura on LinkedIn:
http://www.linkedin.com/in/laurasherman email: laurasherman@earthlink.net

Jim approached me as a business coach and brainstorming expert on behalf of a question emailed to him earlier the same day:
Q. I’ve been a recruiter for almost 20 years and the thrill is
gone. I was hoping you might have some ideas that might be able to
help rekindle the spark; also it doesn’t help that the recession is
squeezing the life out of most of us in the business. If you have
anything to recommend in the way of reading, etc would be much appreciated. –E.

Dear E.

I’m going to address many angles, since I’m not able to follow up to clarify your question.

My first recommendation is to do a quick assessment of your life as a whole, and find one or two things you can tweak about your overall health.  Stress for most people is high right now, and many people are showing signs of long-term stress in depression, low energy, illness, physical tension, and more.  Our body, mind & emotions are very closely connected, and changing our circumstances with one of these aspects of who we are can improve the others.  Perhaps you’re able to lower your sugar intake and up your proteins for a more stable blood sugar?  Can you take a little time for exercise?  Are you willing to get a little bit more sleep?  Improving your physical health will impact your state of mind and emotions, and the effects can range from quick and profound to slowly evident over time.

Next, I would recommend addressing your emotions and energy level.  When you look at your life as a whole: what clearly recharges your batteries?  Sports, exercise, hiking, music, dance, art, or ______?  Are you doing enough of it?  For me, it’s meditation and getting a professional shiatsu massage.  When we’re stressed, we often neglect the very things that did us the most good.  What can you bring back into your life that will make an immediate difference in your overall energy level and optimism?

To rekindle your spark of interest in recruiting:  Why did you become a recruiter?  What were you hoping to accomplish?  What were your goals then?  What attracted you to become a recruiter?  List as many ideas as come to mind as you can.  Once you’re done, ask yourself if any of those reasons still apply.  Now ask, Why are you still a recruiter?  What other reasons are there to remain a recruiter?  Look specifically for the reasons that are high energy, inspirational.  If you need further inspiration, what type of new information or energy can you bring directly into your recruiting practice?  Where can you find new recruiting skills to try out?  Since you’ve been recruiting for 20 years, perhaps you can consider finding exceptionally current information on recruiting.  Perhaps take a course on some new angles in recruiting, find an inspirational blog in the industry, or get a highly-rated industry book.  Tom Peters has a small book called “Talent” that has some interesting angles on who one should hire in their organization, what traits to look for.  It’s part of a book series that are rants on a topic: I happen to like them but they’re probably not for everybody.

If you’re thinking of a career change without completely doing a 180, I might suggest career coaching.  You have experience with resumes, employer requirements, and common candidate shortfalls.  In a tough placement environment, maybe training in coaching could help you groom willing candidates to be more appealing for your few available jobs.  Coaching is not a licensed profession, but there are some ground rules.  If you decide to launching a new career, consider a program such as Coach Training Alliance (I’m not affiliated, but they have an excellent reputation for getting coaching practices off the ground quickly).  If you decide to incorporate coaching ideas with your recruiting, look for the book “Coach Anyone About Anything” as a launching point.

If you might completely change careers, think about what you “always wanted to be” when you were a child.  What attracted you to that career?  If that career is unsuitable or unreachable, exploring aspects of the career that were attractive can give you insights to other choices that you did not or could not consider as a child.  I wanted to be a teacher, desperately.  Later, I realized that teaching is so highly regulated and poorly funded that I didn’t want to be a teacher.  After several jobs that utilized my any talents I’m finally a coach.  I act on the aspects of teaching that appealed to me:  Helping people grow;  Being an instrument of enlightenment.  What is the core of your interest in the fields that have attracted you?  How well do those interests match up with being a recruiter?  What other career options have those qualities?

On the topic of reading, there’s a best-selling book out called “Happy for No Reason” http://www.amazon.com/Happy-No-Reason-Steps-Inside/dp/1416547738/ .  We each choose our outlook, each and every day.  If other recruiters are having a hard time, and having the life squeezed out of them, choose not to be one of those recruiters.  Just be one of the exceptions to the rule.

It’s hard to be happy if you get out of bed perfectly good to go, but then you emotionally and mentally torment yourself with non-stop bad news between the TV morning show while shaving, the newspaper over breakfast, the radio news on the drive to work.  World news brings worldwide disaster to our doorstep, and rarely features any of the good going on in the world.  The only way to balance this is to shut the news out.  I don’t have network TV of any type, the only radio news I hear is the news between songs, and I take a very very quick breeze through a local business paper every week looking for articles that are upbeat, educational, or those which are written by or feature my colleagues.  I ceremoniously cut out items of interest recycle (read: reject) all other “news” as unworthy.  I directly attribute my sanity, upbeat outlook, and peace of mind with rejecting so-called newsworthy stories.  So, to deal with the so-called “economic climate,” I suggest the following exercise to “shut out the news”:  Refuse to listen to news, surf news websites, read newspapers for a 30 day period or longer if you find you like it.  During this trial period, get all of your news from hearsay & word-of-mouth.  Be careful about feeding into or encouraging bad news in any way.  When someone starts griping, just say “That’s interesting.”  Think: “But I know differently.”  With the time you recover from avoiding the news, you can find the time to exercise, meditate, eat right, perhaps take in an audio book, listen to a terrific highly-rated motivational podcast, or just watch something you enjoy.

If you’d like some more ideas, please visit http://LiberatedLifeCoaching.com for my contact information.
Criss Ittermann
http://LiberatedLifeCoaching.com

I get this question a lot. Many parents wonder when they should dust off the old chess board in the attic and introduce the game of kings and queens to their child. I would venture to guess most parents wait too long. In our household I started teaching our son when he was four. The lessons were very short and fun, many occurred on the beach. As he learned more and more of the basics the lessons became longer and longer. Now that he is five and has more experience we can go 45 minutes without a problem. He has also played in two tournaments which lasted over 1 hour.

Since we teach our son regularly our 2-year-old daughter started to hop up on the chair in front of the board in the dining room and declare “Chess!” in a quite demanding way. At first glance this may seem to be an impossible task, but really, if you look at it, any familiarity with the game, with the pieces and board is good. So what’s the first step? Introduce and name the pieces. This is true of any student of any age. So I started with the pawn.

Holding up the pawn and said, “This is a pawn. Can you say ‘pawn’?” She eagerly repeated “Pawn!” and I handed it to her. Then I picked up another pawn and asked, “What is this?” “Pawn!” she chirped happily and received another pawn. I let her place these pawns anywhere on the board that she wanted, after all they were her reward for a job well done. I repeated this a few times and then I held up a rook. “This is a rook,” I said. “Rook,” she repeated and received the treasured piece. We repeated this a few times and then I held up a pawn to see if she remembered that piece. Seeing that she was having trouble I reminded her, “This is a pawn.” “Pawn!” she exclaimed and took it from my hand. I focused on these two pieces for a few minutes and then ended the lesson, making sure to tell her that she did a very good job and that I was really proud of her. She, like her brother, request regular lessons from us.

A month or so later she can now name all the pieces. Her brother helps to teach her. This will greatly improve his understanding and appreciation of the game. Any time a child can teach another a skill they will advance immeasurably in that area.

We actually caught a lesson on tape and posted it on YouTube so you can see them in action. Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIaW0jCNKMc . You can see here that she is still learning the difference between a king and a queen, but now she has that down.

The next step will be to go over the movement of the pieces. Patience is the key. It doesn’t matter how long it takes for your child to grasp the next step. The only important thing is that he or she fully get one step before moving on. Remember you are building a foundation of understanding.

Laura Sherman co-owns Your Chess Coach (www.YourChessCoach.com) with her husband, Dan Sherman. Together they teach children to play chess through various schools in Pinellas County, Florida, as well as privately in students’ homes and online.

Laura on LinkedIn:
http://www.linkedin.com/in/laurasherman email: laurasherman@earthlink.net