Learn4Life: LISTENING Strategy #1 Concerns
Post inspiration: The Jan 2010 Compass Coaching Map I choose was Create Courageous Conversations. So, I decided to blog about it in Q1. This map was developed by Margie Warrell and Soni Pitts.
The listening Strategy Rating has 8 statements for you to rate your listening skills.
#1 Listen for and be thoughtful about the underlying concerns of the person you are listening to.
Rate yourself on the above question: 1-2-3-4-5
Today when you are listening to someone, consider what they are concerned with at this moment.
- Money or meaning?
- Family / Fun or combining both?
- Health or Headlines?
- Wealth or wonder?
- Teens or Toddlers?
- Curious about colors or
cranes? 
Once again Kim Leatherdale has a blog post that ties in with the topic.
Relational Resolution #4- Avoid Battles Over “Truth” The
The take-away line is: This week’s resolution, and your courageous work is to stop trying to prove yourself right, and have a discussion. A discussion is about give and take, respecting what the other person has to say even if you don’t agree, and connecting.
Memory peg: one is a bun. So, associate it with a bun. 
Are you concerned about over toasted buns? 
Does your concern trend more toward sunburned buns? Do you think of BUNny 
rabbits? Fun with buns. Whatever works for you. When you think of one, think of bun, then your image and how you connect concern to it. For me, I think of my left thumb and courageous listening conversations, so I visualize a very hot bun on my thumb: my concern is being burned. I am also concerned that people may call me bunny. Whatever works. Many times the more foolish the better for memory hooks. You don’t need to tell anyone.
Comment Suggestions:
-Agree or disagree: This not apply to parents or senior managers. These people simply tell kids or employees what to do.
- Do you have tips to tune into another’s concerns for people who have focused on this in the past?
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Kristi Arndt, PhD, IAC-CC
Compass Presidential Ambassador & Founding Team Coach
kristiarndt@yahoo.com
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Jim Sutton
Facilitating understanding in the digital age
Virtual World LightHouse
Web 2.0 Community & Business
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February 6th, 2010 at 11:53
[...] LISTENING Strategy #1 Concerns [...]
February 8th, 2010 at 01:07
“Stop trying to prove yourself right and have a discussion. A discussion is about give and take, respecting what the other person has to say even if you don’t agree, and connecting.”
The first line can be read two different ways and both are true for me:
Stop trying to do both at the same time: having a discussion and being right will only work if the other person thinks you’re right, too, and you’re discussing what’s right.
The second way is the sequence: Stop doing one thing – trying to prove yourself right… and start having a discussion.
Either way you take it, either way you apply it, it works, so work it.
The Energizer Bonnie
Web 2.0 Creative Marketing and Business Development Expert
February 10th, 2010 at 07:24
[...] http://jimsutton.naiwe.com/2010/02/04/learn4life-listening-strategy-1-concerns [...]
February 10th, 2010 at 22:29
Bonnie,
I agree. Kim in her blog http://creatingrewardingrelationships.blogspot.com/ talks about being curious. It is hard to try to prove a person and be really curious at the same time.
Jim
I know you are wondering:
Q. Do you know where rust comes from? A. Rot iron
February 26th, 2010 at 11:02
[...] blog post on Lying and it struck me that if you are concerned about the concerns (see blog post on listening for concerns ) of others, as a business or father or coworker you simply cannot leave people with a false [...]