Learn4Life: 80/20 Courageous LISTENING Conversations
Post inspiration: The Jan 2010 Compass Coaching Map I choose was Create Courageous Conversations. So, I decided to blog about it during the month. This map was developed by Margie Warrell and Soni Pitts.
As I was reading day 12 sparked a thought.
Day 12 The meaning of communications is not defined by what is being said, but by what is being heard.
The 80/20 rule came to mind. The idea is listening is conversation: 80% of it. I have heard over and over that you measure your communication success by how much the other person understands.
I am using “I have courageous listening conversations.” to remind myself to stop explaining and listen for the other person’s story.
Risks: There will be 60% silence as both only talk a combined 40%. We tend to stuff the conversation space SO full, this may be a better approach. There are enough communication errors to suggest doing a pilot on a new approach could yield valuable information.
Limitations: I cannot think of a real one. The fear that keeps me talking is that I will miss the opportunity to say something. However, after thinking about it, talking without aiming (listening gives you the targeting data) tends to produce a lot of misses: miss-communications.
Comment Suggestions:
-Agree or disagree: There is no risk in listening more?
- Most people say they want to listen better. Any tips on how to move from saying to doing?
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Kristi Arndt, PhD, IAC-CC
Compass Presidential Ambassador & Founding Team Coach
kristiarndt@yahoo.com
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Jim Sutton
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