Learn4Life: Create Courageous Conversations 1-4
Post inspiration: The Jan 2010 Compass Coaching Map I choose was Create Courageous Conversations. So, I decided to blog about it during the month. This map was developed by Margie Warrell and Soni Pitts.
Each day has a take away summary. They are great all by themselves as reminders.
Day 1: The quality of your relationships is determined by the quality of the conversations you have in them.
There is a quiz with day one. Yep, I avoid conflict. No surprise here. Funny how we know what we should do but, just knowing is the first step. Doing it is not assured because we know we should.
Day 2: What doesn’t get talked out gets acted out.
One of the questions in the discussion is “Who do you feel does not understand you? Reminds me of a blog post I just read about introverts.
An Introvert Lesson from Charlie Brown’s Friend Pig-Pen The main message is for introverts to explain themselves. BTW, I am an INTJ which means I am an introvert.
Day 3: If there is something you genuinely want to say, chances are there is someone who genuinely needs to hear it.
I never considered conversations from that angle before. I generally agree. Add a comment and tell me what you think.
Day 4: We each created different stories- the melting pot of assumptions, attitudes, biases and beliefs – to explain and make sense of our circumstances, ourselves the people around us and the world in general.
Comment Suggestions:
-agree or disagree: If there is something you genuinely want to say, chances are there is someone who genuinely needs to hear it.
-What is the most important part of a conversation?
——-
My plug for Compass and Kristy my Coach:
Kristi Arndt, PhD, IAC-CC
Compass Presidential Ambassador & Founding Team Coach
kristiarndt@yahoo.com
Experience the Gift of Compass
www.ilovecompass.com
Affordable Life Coaching Programs
www.compassclient.com
Rewarding Business Opportunity
www.compassrep.com
—-
Jim Sutton
Facilitating understanding in the digital age
Virtual World LightHouse
Web 2.0 Community & Business
About Me Page
January 12th, 2010 at 09:48
What is the most important part of the conversation? Can there be only one?
I think the energy one puts into a conversation is important. If you are carrying bad vibes over from an argument you had with someone into a conversation with another person, it will degrade the quality.
Also I think if you stay true to yourself on first meeting someone, or people, then you naturally attract those who you really resonate with. Be true to this step and you’ll be hanging around with the people who you want to be with most.
You are a consummate networker Jim.
January 12th, 2010 at 10:37
Funny. I am listening to the meeting from Web 2.0 meeting and you were just talking.
I agree with you about the energy. That is why being thankful for the things you have is important.
Staying true to yourself is a theme that shows up in your writing over and over.
Nice chatting with you.
Hey, do you know any introvert puns?
January 12th, 2010 at 15:20
Day 1: “The quality of your relationships is determined by the quality of the conversations you have in them.”
Absolutely true. If conversations are strained, neither knowing what to say, the relationship is cool and distant. If, on the other hand, conversation flows freely, both are open to sharing information and experience.
But before we can have “quality” relationships with others, we need to address the one within ourselves. Quality of external relationships is a direct result of the quality of relationship with one’s self. There are volumes of books dedicated to the subject of personal inventory & growth. One thing the books usually miss is how music plays into how we feel about our selves and how we choose to interact with others. Repeated listening to anything tends to make us accept it as true.
Consciously selecting music that reinforces a desired belief pattern can support healthy relationships, starting with the self. Also, refraining from listening to songs that reinforce co-dependent relationships will help. For example, there is an old song called “Won’t last a day without you”. Boo, hiss. Bad programming.
January 12th, 2010 at 16:50
Rosemarie,
Thanks for joining the conversation.
Your statement “Consciously selecting music that reinforces a desired belief pattern can support healthy relationships, starting with the self. ” describes why I choose not to listen to much of the music in circulation today.
Some people seem to feel that consciously choosing what you say and hear is somehow contrived or cheating. I see it as healthy nutritional choices for my mind, just like physical food fuels my body.
Do you know any music puns?
Jim
Q: What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t? A: Depreciation. #pun
January 13th, 2010 at 10:31
Wow, I can sure agree with the first day’s topic! Write about that all the time on my relationship blog. However, remember conversations are about dynamic balance. One shares and the other listens and they take turns.
Unfortunately, we have mostly a culture of talkers and very few good listeners. Even when we “listen” we are mostly talking in our heads.
Real focused listening is the skill to develop in 2010. Then we can hear what we genuinely need to hear (day 3).
I could post indefinitely about this (since I am a talker) but I’ll end with something you need to hear.
Good post for thought, Jim!
January 13th, 2010 at 15:07
Kim,
Thanks for joining in the conversation. I agree 2010 is a year for listening.
I enjoyed the line in your blog: Your courageous work is to carefully watch what you say and do to make sure they truly match. The whole post is really worth a read.
You can find it at: http://creatingrewardingrelationships.blogspot.com/
Post title: Don’t be a Hypocrite
If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?#pun
January 15th, 2010 at 19:14
[...] Learn4Life: Create Courageous Conversations 1-4 [...]